Asta da petrecere
19 aprilie, 2008 | Andrei Sălăgean
Categories: Poze | No Comments
How do you know if you are gay
18 aprilie, 2008 | Andrei Sălăgean
Categories: very funny | No Comments
Lawyer’s don’t eat grass
17 aprilie, 2008 | Andrei Sălăgean
One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in his shiny limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass.
Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop…and he got out to investigate the situation.
He asked one man, „Why are you eating grass?”
„We don’t have any money for food,” the poor man replied. „We HAVE TO eat grass.”
Shocked, the lawyer said, „Well, then, you can come with me to my house…and I’ll feed you!”
„But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree.”
„Bring them along,” the lawyer replied. Turning to the other poor man, he said, „You come with us, too.”
The second man said, „But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!”
„Bring them all!” the lawyer answered……and they jammed into the huge limo.
Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, „Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking of us with you.”
Genuinely touched, the lawyer replied, „Glad to do it! You’ll really love my place……the grass is almost a foot high!”Categories: la grămadă, very funny | No Comments
Se zice ca esti roman daca:
17 aprilie, 2008 | Andrei Sălăgean
* tot ce maninci are gust de ceapa si usturoi
* incerci sa reciclezi ambalajele de la flori, hirtia de la cadouri si, bineinteles, folia de aluminiu
* stai linga cele mai mari doua valize din aeroport
* ajungi la petreceri cu una, doua ore intirziere si ti se pare normal
* dupa ce mergi la cineva in vizita, la plecare mai stai o ora in fata usii la povesti
* parintii tai nu arunca niciodata nimic si, daca reusesti sa arunci ceva la gunoi, apare in mod misterios inapoi
* ai perdele de dantela
* ai fata de masa din macrame
* ai covoare care acopera fiecare centimetru din casa ta
* mama ta iti spune ca esti slab, chiar daca ai 110 kg
* mama recicleaza pahare de plastic, farfurii din carton si pungile de la sandwichuri, spalindu-le
* folosesti sacosele primite la cumparaturi, pe post de pungi de gunoi
* raftul tau din bucatarie este plin de borcane de gem, varietati de recipiente de plastic si sticla
* cind gatesti, nu folosesti ustensile de cintarit
* nu poti pleca in calatorii decit daca te conduc macar 5 persoane la autobuz, tren sau aeroport
* suni interurban numai dupa ora 8 PM
* parintii nu realizeaza ca tehnologia s-a imbunatatit si, cind suna in strainatate, urla la telefon
* ai cuverturi uzate pe canapea ca sa nu se murdareasca tapiteria
* nu cunosti mai mult de jumatate din invitatii de la nunta ta
* ai vazut pamintul din interiorul unui WC din tren, in mers
* copilul tau poarta caciulita si 3 pulovere in septembrie, desi sint 25 de grade afara
* daca vezi pe cineva in pantaloni scurti in decembrie, zici ca e nebun, desi sint 20 de grade afara
* crezi ca „urda”, „mamaliga”, „parizer”, „telemea” sint feluri internationale de mincare
* cind vin straini la tine in vizita, te distrezi dindu-le cea mai tare tuica din casa… si cind reusesc sa bea un pahar le mai torni
* cind ai musafiri si ii intrebi daca mai servesc si ei spun ca „NU”, la tine inseamna ca „DA”Categories: la grămadă | No Comments
Big fish, little mouse
16 aprilie, 2008 | Andrei Sălăgean
There was a fly looking at some food in a river. The fly thought, „If I go down, I can get the food!”
There was a fish looking at the fly. The fish thought, „If the fly goes down to get the food, I can get the fly!”
There was a bear looking at the fish. The bear thought, „If the fly goes down to get the food, and that fish comes up to get the fly, I can get the fish!”
There was a man looking at the bear. The man thought, „If the fly goes down to get the food, the fish comes up to get the fly, and the bear gets the fish, I can shoot the bear!”
There was a mouse looking at the man. The mouse thought, „If the fly goes down to get the food, the fish comes up to get the fly, the bear gets the fish, and the man shoots the bear, I can get the man’s sandwich!”
There was a cat looking at the mouse. The cat thought, „If the fly goes down to get the food, the fish comes up to get the fly, the bear gets the fish, the man shoots the bear, and the mouse gets the sandwich, I can get the mouse!”
So the fly goes down to get the food. The fish comes up and gets the fly. The bear swipes his mighty paw and gets the fish. The man shoots the bear. The mouse runs for the man’s sandwich. The cat lunges for the mouse, misses, and falls in the river.What’s the moral of the story?
When the fly goes down, the pussy gets wet.Categories: very funny | No Comments