la grămadă

  1. Filme porno la unu in download history

    iulie 7, 2008 by Andrei Sălăgean

           Daca tot te uiti la filme „pentru adulti” pe internet ar fi bine sa iti stergi din history. Mai ales daca vine televiziunea la tine acasa…

    Categories: la grămadă, very funny | No Comments

  2. There’s no candy :(

    iulie 4, 2008 by Andrei Sălăgean

    Categories: la grămadă, Poze | No Comments

  3. Catre stafful vorbitor de limba romana de la o firma din SUA

    iunie 30, 2008 by Andrei Sălăgean

    To: All Romanian Speaking Staff
    Subject: Improper Language Usage

    It has been brought to our attention by several officials visiting our
    office in Romania that offensive language is commonly used by our
    Romanian speaking staff. Such behavior, in addition to violating our
    policy, is highly unprofessional and offensive to both visitors and
    staff. All personnel will immediately adhere to the following rules:
    1.. Words like f*tu-i, în p*la mea, p*la and other such expressions
    will not be tolerated or used for emphasis or dramatic effect, no
    matter how heated a discussion may become.
    2.. You will not say si-a bagat p*la when someone makes a mistake,
    or s-a c*cat pe el if you see someone being reprehended, or baga-mi-as, when a major mistake has been made. All forms and derivations of the verb a se c*ca and a se f*te are utterly inappropriate and unacceptable in our environment.
    3.. No project manager, section head or administrator under any
    circumstances will be referred to as p*la de om, c*canaru’ or boul.
    4.. Lack of determination will not be referred to as p*lalau nor will persons who lack initiative be referred to as m*iangiu.
    5.. Unusual or creative ideas offered by management are not to be
    referred to as porcarii.
    6.. Do not say f*tu-ti pe ma-ta if somebody is persistent; do not add p*la
    mea, if a colleague is going through a difficult situation. Furthermore,
    you must not say am pus-o (refer to item 2) nor o sa ne-o traga when a
    matter becomes excessively complicated.
    7.. When asking someone to leave you alone, you must not say du-te-n
    p*la mea nor should you ever substitute „May I help you?” with, ce p*la mea vrei?.
    8.. Under no circumstances should you ever call your elderly industrial
    partners bosorogi împutiti.
    9.. Do not say ia mai mereti-n p*la cu c*catu’ asta when a relevant
    project is presented to you, nor should you ever answer f*tu-te-n cur
    when your assistance is required.
    10.. You should never call partner representatives as boul dracului or
    tâmpitu’ ala.
    11.. The sexual behavior of our staff is not to be discussed in terms
    such as p*zdulica buna, f*taciosu’ or homalau’ lu’ peste.
    12.. Last but not least, after reading this note, please do not say ma
    sterg la cur cu textul asta.

    Just keep it clean and dispose of it properly.
    Thank you.

    Categories: la grămadă, very funny | No Comments

  4. O zi…obisnuita

    iunie 30, 2008 by Andrei Sălăgean

    O zi de examen oarecare din viata unui student la Politehnica. Examen la o materie nerelevanta. Sa zicem… „Materiale”. Mai pe intelesul tuturor, echivalentul unui curs de „Managementul fostelor ceapeuri” la ASE , „Cultura plantei de iasomie” la Agronomie sau „Doctrine staliniste” la SNSPA.

    Ora 6:00 – Trezirea, constientizarea situatiei critice „zi de examen”. Palpitatii, gaze stomacale, etc…

    Ora 6:15 – Pregatirea mapei: cursul (carte+foi xeroxate), rezumate schematizate, servite + eventuale copiute. (ca si cand ai voie cu toata biblioteca pe banca)

    Ora 6:30 – Realizarea inutilitatii mapei „stufoase” la examenul respectiv. Reorganizarea mapei: 3 coli A4 + pix.

    Ora 6:40 – Plecarea conform orarului pentru a prinde „loc bun, first class”

    Ora 7:15 – Intrarea in sala de examen, ocuparea unui „loc prost, first desk”. Locurile bune se terminasera deja de la ora 5:00. …Excentrici…

    Ora 8:00 – Intrarea profesorului in sala de examen. Intrarea supraveghetorilor in sala de examen (primele reactii ale studentilor: Sugestii la adresa rudelor apropiate ale upraveghetorilor: mame, fii, fiice, neam, etc)

    Ora 8:01:00 – Anuntarea subiectelor….

    Ora 8:01:30 – Reactii la aflarea subiectelor ( <>)

    Ora 8:02 – <>
    <>

    Ora 8:03 – <>
    <<...>>

    Ora 8:30 – Planul de calamitate A: Scriere in afara subiectului.

    Ora 8:31 – Terminat de scris.

    Ora 8:32 – Planul de calamitate B: auto-incurajarea (<>)

    Ora 10:00 – Epuizarea timpului de alocat examenului. Predarea foilor, zambitor catre profesor. Iesirea din sala. Ciudat, insa intrebarile gen <> sunt insotite de raspunsuri strans legate de organe de reproducere.

    Ora 11:30 – Reintoarcerea in sala pentru corectarea tezei. (De)punctare corecta, cu argumente si explicatii ale profesorului extrem de bine intemeiate: <>

    Ora 11:31 – Cuvinte de ramas bun colegilor, incurajari, si traditionalul <>

    Ora 13:00 – Acasa… Yahoo Messenger…. status adecvat situatiei. Invisible pentru dobitocii cu intrebari stupide.

    Ora 14:00 – Somnul de frumusete…
    …noi sa fim sanatosi..

    Categories: la grămadă | 1 Comment

  5. Numele real al unor artisti (182)

    iunie 24, 2008 by Andrei Sălăgean

    # Clay Aiken – Clayton Holmes Grissom
    # Akon – Aliuane Badara Thiam
    # Tori Amos – Myra Ellen Amos
    # Trey Anastasio – Ernest Joseph Anastasio III
    # Adam Ant – Stuart Leslie Goddard
    # Marc Anthony – Marco Antonio Muniz
    # Frankie Avalon – Francis Avallone
    # Baby Face – Kenneth Edmonds
    # Erykah Badu – Erica Wright
    # Ginger Baker – Peter Edward Baker
    # Syd Barrett – Roger Keith Barrett
    # Ol’ Dirty Bastard – Russell Tyrell Jones
    # Pat Benatar – Patricia Andrejewski
    # Tony Bennett – Anthony Dominick Benedetto
    # Dickey Betts – Forrest Richard Betts
    # Jello Biafra – Eric Reed Boucher
    # Bo Bice – Harold Elwin Bice
    # Marc Bolan – Mark Feld
    # Michael Boltin – Michael Bolotin
    # Jon Bon Jovi – John Francis BonGiovi
    # Bono – Paul David Hewson
    # Sonny Bono – Salvatore Bono
    # David Bowie – David Jones
    # Jackson Browne – Clyde Jackson Browne
    # J.J. Cale – John W. Cale
    # Irene Cara – Irene Escelera
    # Eric Carr – Paul Charles Carravello
    # 50 Cent – Curtis Jackson
    # Ray Charles – Ray Charles Robinson
    # Cher – Cherilyn LaPierre
    # Charlotte Church – Charlotte Reed
    # Gene Clark – Harold Eugene Clark
    # Patsy Cline – Virginia Patterson Hensley
    # Ry Cooder – Ryland Cooder
    # Alice Cooper – Vincent Furnier
    # Elvis Costello – Declan MacManus
    # Peter Criss – George Peter Criscuola
    # Ice Cube – Oshea Jackson
    # Bobby Dall – Robert Harry Kuykendall
    # Bobby Darin – Walden Waldo Robert Cassotto
    # Dimebag Darrell – Darrell Abbott
    # Mac Davis – Morris Davis
    # Taylor Dayne – Leslie Wonderman
    # Mos Def – Dante Terrell Smith
    # John Denver – John Deutschendorf
    # Rick Derringer – Rick Zeringer
    # Buck Dharma – Donald Roeser
    # Snoop Dogg – Calvin Broadus
    # Thomas Dolby – Thomas Robertson
    # Mickey Dolenz – George Michael Braddock
    # Dr. Dre – Andre Young
    # Bob Dylan – Robert Zimmerman
    # Sheena Easton – Sheena Orr
    # Falco – Johann Holzel
    # Fergie – Stacy Anne Ferguson
    # Flavor Flav – William Drayton
    # Flea – Michael Peter Balzary
    # Ace Frehley – Paul Daniel Frehley
    # Kenny G – Kenneth Gorelick
    # Crystal Gayle – Brenda Gail Webb
    # Boy George – George O’Dowd
    # Gary Glitter – Paul Gadd
    # Macy Gray – Natalie McIntyre
    # MC Hammer – Stanley Burrell
    # Faith Hill – Audrey Faith Perry
    # Billie Holiday – Eleanora Gough
    # Buddy Holly – Charles Holley
    # Englebert Humperdinck – Arnold Dorsey
    # Janis Ian – Janis Eddy Fink
    # Vanilla Ice – Robert Van Winkle
    # Billy Idol – William Broad
    # Tito Jackson – Toriano Jackson
    # Rick James – James Johnson
    # D.J.Jazzy Jeff – Jeff Townes
    # Joan Jett – Joan Larkin
    # Grace Jones – Grace Mendoza
    # Tom Jones – Thomas Woodward
    # Elton John – Reginald Dwight
    # Wynonna Judd – Christina Ciminella
    # Juvenile – Terious Grey
    # R.Kelly – Robert Kelly
    # Alicia Keys – Alicia Cook
    # Chaka Kahn – Yvette Marie Stevens
    # L’il Kim – Kimberly Jones
    # B.B, King – Riley B. King
    # Uncle Kracker – Matthew Schafer
    # L.L. Cool J – James Tood Smith
    # Patti LaBelle – Patricia Holt
    # k.d.lang – Katherine Dawn Lang
    # Queen Latifah Dana Owens
    # Mario Lanza – Alfred Cocazza
    # Geddy Lee – Gary Weinraub
    # Julian Lennon – John Charles Julian Lennon
    # Huey Lewis – Hugh Craig
    # Liberace – Wladziu Valentino
    # Ludacris – Christopher Bridges
    # Mama Cass – Ellen Cohen
    # Barry Manilow – Barry Pincus
    # Yngwie Malmsteem – Lars Lannerback
    # Manfred Mann – Manfred Lubowitz
    # Marilyn Manson – Bruce Warner
    # Mick Mars – Robert Deal
    # Dean Martin – Dino Crocetti
    # Ricky Martin – Enrique Jose Martin Morales
    # Paul McCartney – James Paul McCartney
    # Meat Loaf – Marvin Lee Aday
    # Freddie Mercury – Farrokh Bulsara
    # George Michael – Yorgos Panayiotou
    # Joni Mitchell – Roberta Anderson
    # Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana – Destiny Hope Cyrus
    # Moby – Richard Melville Hall
    # Van Morrison – George Morrison
    # Nas – Nasir Jones
    # Rick Nelson – Eric Nelson
    # Nelly – Carnell Haynes
    # Vince Neil – Vince Neil Wharton
    # Juice Newton – Judy Newton
    # Nortorious B.I.G. – Christopher Wallace
    # Ric Ocasek – Richard Otcasek
    # Billy Ocean – Leslie Sebastian Charles
    # Tony Orland – Michael Anthony Orlando Cassivitis
    # Ozzy Osborne – John Michael Osborne
    # Robert Palmer – Alan Robert Palmer
    # Gram Parsons – Cecil Ingram Connor
    # Pink – Alecia Moore
    # Iggy Pop – James Osterberg
    # Puffy/Puff Daddy/Diddy/P.Diddy – Sean Combs
    # C.J. Ramone – Chris Ward
    # Dee Dee Ramone – Douglas Colvin
    # Joey Ramone – Jeffrey Hyman
    # Johnny Ramone – John Cummings
    # Marky Ramone – Mark Bell
    # Richie Ramone – Richie Reinhart
    # Tommy Ramone – Tom Erderlyi
    # Lou Reed – Louis Firbank
    # Busta Rhymes – Trevor Smith
    # Nick Rhodes – Nicholas Bates
    # Smokey Robinson – William Robinson
    # Henry Rollins – Henry Garfield
    # Axl Rose – William Bailey
    # Johnny Rotten – John Lydon
    # Ja Rule – Jeffrey Atkins
    # Mitch Ryder – William Levise
    # Sade – Helen Adu
    # Boz Scaggs – William Scaggs
    # Bon Scott – William Scott
    # Seal – Henry Samuel
    # Gene Simmons – Chaim Witz
    # Sir Mix-A-Lot Anthony Ray
    # Nikki Sixx – Franklin Ferrana
    # Slash – Saul Hudson
    # Grace Slick – Grace Wing
    # Fatboy Slim – Quentin Cook
    # Paul Stanley – Stanley Eisen
    # Ringo Starr – Richard Starkey
    # Cat Stevens – Steven Georgiou changed name to Yusef Islam
    # Sting – Gordon Sumner
    # Michael Stipe – John Michael Stipe
    # Joss Stone – Jocelyn Eve Stocker
    # Joe Strummer – John Mellor
    # Donna Summer – LaDonna Gaines
    # Ice T – Tracey Marrow
    # Timbaland – Timothy Mosely
    # Peter Tosh – Winston Macintosh
    # Tina Turner – Anna Mae Bullock
    # Shania Twain – Eileen Edwards
    # Conway Twitty – Harold Jenkins
    # Steven Tyler – Steven Tallarico
    # Dionne Warwick – Marie Warwick
    # Roger Waters – George WAters
    # Fee Waybill – John Waldo
    # Bob Weir – Robert Hall
    # Leslie West – Leslie Westein
    # Jack White – John Gillis
    # Hank Williams – Hiram Williams
    # Paul Williams – Billy Paul
    # Peter Wolf – Peter Blankfield
    # Stevie Wonder – Steveland Morris
    # Zakk Wylde – Jeffrey Wieldlandt
    # Bill Wyman – William Perks
    # Xzibit – Alvin Joiner
    # Rob Zombie – Robert Cummings

    Categories: la grămadă | No Comments