A hamburger walks into a bar and the bartender says, „Sorry, we don’t serve food in here.”
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, „So, why the long face?”
A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender says, „You’re quite a celebrity around here. We’ve even got a drink named after you.” The grasshopper says, „You’ve got a drink named Steve?”
A goldfish walks into a bar and looks at the bartender. The bartender asks, „What can I get you?” The goldfish says, „Water.”
A guy walks into a bar and there is a horse behind the bar serving drinks. The guy is just staring at the horse, when the horse says, „What are you staring at? Haven’t you ever seen a horse serving drinks before?” The guy says, „No, I never thought the parrot would sell the place.”
A cowboy walks into a bar. Upon leaving, he realizes that someone has painted his horse. The cowboy yells, „Which one of you painted my horse?” A seven foot tall hulk of a man says, menacingly, „I did.” The cowboy realizes he is in trouble and replies, „Why, thank you – the first coat’s dry!”
A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says, „Hey buddy, can’t you read that sign? It says no dogs allowed! Get that mutt out of here!” The man replies, „No, I can’t read the sign – I’m blind, and this is my seeing eye dog.” The bartender is embarrassed and gives the man a beer on the house. Later that day, the guy is telling his friend about it: „I told him I was blind and I got a free beer!” The friend then takes his dog into the bar and sits down, and the bartender says, „The sign says no dogs allowed! You’ll have to leave!” The friend says, „Sorry, I can’t see the sign because I’m blind, and this is my seeing eye dog.” The bartender replies, „Since when do they give out Chihuahuas as seeing eye dogs?” The man says, „They gave me a Chihuahua?”
A little guy walks into a bar and slips on some vomit. Minutes later a tough guy walks into the bar and slips on the vomit as well. The little guy says, „I just did that.” The big guy then beats the little guy up.
A skeleton walks into a bar and says, „Gimme a beer, and a mop.”
A polar bear, a giraffe and a penguin walk into a bar. The bartender says, „What is this? Some kind of joke?”
