Author Archive

  1. Imbunatateste tinta

    mai 24, 2008 by Andrei Sălăgean

    Da click pe imagine pentru a o vedea marita

    Categories: Poze | No Comments

  2. Windows 2008 – Glasgow Edition

    mai 24, 2008 by Andrei Sălăgean

    Official Microsoft Announcement:
    It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Glasgow edition of Windows 2008 may have accidentally been shipped outside Glasgow. If you have one of the Glasgow editions you may need some help understanding the commands. The Glasgow edition may be recognised by looking at the opening screen. It reads WINDAES 2008 with a background picture of a Buckfast bottle superimposed on a Clydebank flag. It is shipped with a Buckfast screen saver.

    Also note:

    The Recycle Bin is labelled Oot tae feck
    Dialup Networking is called Ma Mates
    Control Panel is known as How Tae Feck Aboot Wi The Settins
    Hard Drive is referred to as Big Disk
    Floppies are known as Them Wee Plastic Bestards

    Other features:

    OK=it’s aww-right
    cancel=feck aff
    yes=aye
    no=nay feckin’ chance
    find=get it yer feckin’ sel’
    go to=orr therr
    help=ah cannae dae it
    stop=gie’s some feckin’ peace
    start=feckin’ move
    settings=settins
    programs=stuff at does stuff
    personal folder=ma shite

    Also note that Windaes 2008 does not recognise capital letters or punctuation marks.Some programs that are exclusive to Windaes 2008:

    tiperiter=a word processor
    cullerin buik=a graphics program
    totty-up=calculator
    jotter=notepad (usually unused)
    sounds=CD player
    porn=Microsoft Internet Explorer
    pikchers=a graphics viewer
    broo=M/S accounting software
    Sellik=a spreadsheet of Celtic F.C.’s recent scores

    We regret any inconvenience it may have cause if you received a copy of the Glasgow edition. You may return it to Microsoft for a local replacement version.

    Categories: very funny | No Comments

  3. Din Invataurile lui Salagean

    mai 21, 2008 by Andrei Sălăgean

          Eminescu era genul de om care se pi*a contra vantului dar nu se uda!
          Cristi era genul de om la care cu cat ii crestea parul mai mult cu atat era mai flexibil.
          Cristina era genul de fata care zice da si apoi radea !
          Mihai era genul de om care dadea din cap dar nu insemna neaparat ca „da” !
          Ioana era genul de fata care reusea foarte usor sa ma (i)enerveze chiar daca nu era de fata.

          Daca ai penarul deschis pe banca sansele sa iti pierzi ceva din el sunt mai mari decat atunci cand e inchis.
          Poti sa ii pui unui caine ochelari dar asta nu inseamna ca o sa vada mai bine.
          Unora le este mai usor sa inteleaga un filozof strain decat sa taie o felie de paine…!
          Eu eram genul de om pentru care culoarea rosie era foarte linistitoare, iar albul ma enerva. Totusi aveam ochii caprui.
          Poti fi oricat de inalt dar nu poti fi sigur ca o sa ajungi la raftul de sus !
         Cei care se tachineaza vor sa ajunga undeva unde nu pot, sau nu au ce face.
         Cei care stiu sa traiasca…din pacate traiesc putin!
         Cei care nu sar nu au cum sa ajunga foarte sus.
         Daca tu citesti tot ce e scris mai sus si razi inseamna ca ti-a placut. Pentru ca tu esti genul de persoana care va mai vizita blogul meu !

    Categories: Creatii proprii, Parerea Mea | No Comments

  4. Do you know who I am ?

    mai 20, 2008 by Andrei Sălăgean

    An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in Denver for being smart and funny, and making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo. A crowded United flight was canceled.

    A single agent was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travelers.

    Suddenly, an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, „I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS.”

    The agent replied „I’m sorry sir. I’ll be happy to try to help you, but I’ve got to help these folks first, and I’m sure we’ll be able to work something out.”

    The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, „Do you have any idea who I am?”

    Without hesitating, the gate agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone. „May I have your attention please?” she began, her voice bellowing throughout the terminal. „We have a passenger here at the gate WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to the gate.”

    With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore, „F*** you!”

    Without flinching, she smiled and said, „I’m sorry, sir, but you’ll have to stand in line for that too.”

    Categories: very funny | No Comments

  5. 4. Cum sa devii un tocilar !

    mai 19, 2008 by Andrei Sălăgean

    Categories: la grămadă, very funny | No Comments