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Windows 2008 – Glasgow Edition

Official Microsoft Announcement:
It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Glasgow edition of Windows 2008 may have accidentally been shipped outside Glasgow. If you have one of the Glasgow editions you may need some help understanding the commands. The Glasgow edition may be recognised by looking at the opening screen. It reads WINDAES 2008 with a background picture of a Buckfast bottle superimposed on a Clydebank flag. It is shipped with a Buckfast screen saver.

Also note:

The Recycle Bin is labelled Oot tae feck
Dialup Networking is called Ma Mates
Control Panel is known as How Tae Feck Aboot Wi The Settins
Hard Drive is referred to as Big Disk
Floppies are known as Them Wee Plastic Bestards

Other features:

OK=it’s aww-right
cancel=feck aff
yes=aye
no=nay feckin’ chance
find=get it yer feckin’ sel’
go to=orr therr
help=ah cannae dae it
stop=gie’s some feckin’ peace
start=feckin’ move
settings=settins
programs=stuff at does stuff
personal folder=ma shite

Also note that Windaes 2008 does not recognise capital letters or punctuation marks.Some programs that are exclusive to Windaes 2008:

tiperiter=a word processor
cullerin buik=a graphics program
totty-up=calculator
jotter=notepad (usually unused)
sounds=CD player
porn=Microsoft Internet Explorer
pikchers=a graphics viewer
broo=M/S accounting software
Sellik=a spreadsheet of Celtic F.C.’s recent scores

We regret any inconvenience it may have cause if you received a copy of the Glasgow edition. You may return it to Microsoft for a local replacement version.

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