Scrisorica, mica, mica

24 martie, 2009 by Andrei Sălăgean

Scrisoare de la Romania

Dear George Bush Jr,

         Pentru inceput vreau just to anuntz you that am ajuns cu bine in acest country care esti originar mr. Dracula. Ai avut dreptate when mi-ai spus ca un zbor in B52 with US division 72 aeropurtat poate schimba radical view of life. In plus, boys din infanteria marine are such nice guys si distractivi! We had a lot of fun si ce-am mai ras cand unul din ei a amorsat in gluma o grenade pe care a scapat-o down la aterizare si a facut undragutz hole pe pista! Dupa cum am vazut, probably este un joke la moda playing cu grenade, because in airport erau many gauri on piste. Baiat with grenade ajunge tommorow home in US and transmite you plz condoleantz to his family! In airport I was ashteptat de un beautyful girls band („The girls from Capilna”) care ives on the „Chicken Mountain” – place where s-au nescut mr. Dracula, Hagi & Tceaushesco. Newz ar fi ca the capital of Romania nu esti Budapest ci Bucharest and chind am ajus nu era nici o ainbow cum you have told me. In tot Bucharest este trendy jucat whith grenades on street so the asfalt is full of gauri. Am gasit nickname pentru acest tara and I’m zis „Ten percent country” because only 10% din street n-ai gauri, project Dracula Land it’s ready 10% adiche numai s-a dat numele), chind am cheutat investment place all the factors responsabil said to me „10% & luat for free” (in general comision for everything esti „zetce la sut”) and per totally, 10% din romini au 90% din PIB and 90% of population have rest the 10% . Oameni are very dragutz with americans and indiferent what you want, romini spune „OK tatiku, dache ai bani se poate oritche”. Ba chiar, one brown romanian cherokee, chind ma plimbam on street, a aratat me three blonds surori de-ai lui and told me to pick one & mergi la hotel to see beauties of this town. Of corse am refused because you told me sa fii careful at biologic bombs! Chind that indian a insistat am aratat the big sergent Jones care ashtepta in mashin and the indian said „a, eshti bulangiu!”, cuvint care means goodbye.

         Indeed, very nice people! Abia ashtept to go to Constantza to meet mr. Kogalniceanu – the president of this beautiful country, care dat nume airport pus la disposition for US troops. Also, in acest summer (dache dureaza atit the war) abia ashtept se vad palmiers, The Old Custom & cele 10.000 de swedish turiste care come on this beach sa se bronzezi topless, cum tells me mr.Aghaton.

         So, vreau sa ask you a favor : if you eally love me, amina plz. the end of rezboi until september, ka se prindem shi noi the sezon la „Marea Neagra” (means „The big black woman”) se pot shi eu se fac ski nautic tras de F17 Stealth sau se pot se me plimb with banana lui Botezatu la statziunea to his grandmother („Mamaia”). Deci, again eu insist se help la mine cu that problem and I’ll owe you forever.

Looking forward for the good news , with love, Marvin.


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