Funny Shit

May 1, 2008 by Andrei Sălăgean

In Kentucky, 50% of the people who get married for the first time are teenagers.
Kotex was first manufactured as bandages, during WWI.
Einstein couldn’t speak fluently when he was nine. His parents thought he might be retarded.
In Los Angeles, there are fewer people than there are automobiles.
About a third of all Americans flush the toilet while they’re still sitting on it.
You’re more likely to get stung by a bee on a windy day that in any other weather.
An average person laughs about 5 times a day.
Research indicates that mosquitoes are attracted to people who have recently eaten bananas.
Penguins can jump as high as 6 feet in the air.
The average person is about a quarter of an inch taller at night.
A sneeze zooms out of your mouth at over 600 m.p.h.
The condom – made originally of linen – was invented in the early 500s.
The first known contraceptive was crocodile dung, used by Egyptians in 2000 B.C.
A Saudi Arabian woman can get a divorce if her husband doesn’t give her coffee.
The Neanderthal’s brain was bigger than yours is.
Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn’t wear pants.
The average bank teller loses about $250 every year.
In 980, there was only one country in the world with no telephones – Bhutan.
Every person has a unique tongue print.
Your right lung takes in more air than your left one does.
Women’s hearts beat faster than men’s.
Pollsters say that 40% of dog and cat owners carry pictures of the pets in their wallets.
Bubble gum contains rubber.
You can only smell /20th as well as a dog.
Only 55% of all Americans know that the sun is a star.
The sound of E.T. walking was made by someone squishing her hands in Jello.
Even if you cut off a cockroach’s head, it can live for several weeks.
Most American car horns honk in the key of F.
The world population of chickens is about equal to the number of people.
Every time Beethoven sat down to write music, he poured ice water over his head.
In 75% of American households, women manage the money and pay the bills.
A monkey was once tried and convicted for smoking a cigarette in South Bend, Indiana.
About 70% of Americans who go to college do it just to make more money.
It’s against the law to catch fish with your bare hands in Kansas.
Some toothpastes contain antifreeze.
Sigmund Freud had a morbid fear of ferns.
Millie the White House dog earned more than 4 times as much as Pres. Bush in 99. And, rightfully so.
Bird droppings are the chief export of Nauru, an island nation in the western Pacific.
There are more plastic flamingos in America than real ones.
Most lipstick contains fish scales.
Lee Harvey Oswald’s cadaver tag sold at an auction for $6,600 in 992.
Mosquitoes have teeth.
Spotted skunks do handstands before they spray.
Hypnotism is banned by public schools in San Diego.
The three best-known western names in China: Jesus Christ, Richard Nixon, and Elvis Presley.
When snakes are born with two heads, they fight each other for food.
Most cows give more milk when they listen to music.
27% of U.S. male college students believe life is “a meaningless existential hell.”
In 980, a Las Vegas hospital suspended workers for betting on when patients would die.
Aztec emperor Montezuma had nephew, Cuitlahac, whose name meant “plenty of excrement.”
Thomas Edison was afraid of the dark.
“Kemo Sabe” means “soggy shrub” in Navajo.


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